Laughter Land

Chuck Norris’s tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.

Chuck Norris sent a picture of himself in the crouched position to the IRS. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes…EVER

Chuck Norris CAN believe its not butter.

If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.

Chuck Norris uses pepper spray as eye drops.

Chuck Norris wasn’t born. He punched his way out of the womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard.

Bullets dodge Chuck Norris.

Superman owns a pair of Chuck Norris pajamas.

If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can’t see Chuck Norris, you may be only seconds away from certain death.

Chuck Norris doesn’t use spellcheck. If he happens to misspell a word, he changes the actual spelling of it.

Chuck Norris doesn’t sleep. He waits.

Chuck Norris clogs the toilet even when he pees.

When Chuck Norris jumps into the water, he doesn’t get wet. The water gets Chuck Norrised.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity. Twice.

Geico saved 15% by switching to Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris does not have AIDS, but gives it to people anyway.

Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC for the show Law and Order, claiming the stole the names of his right and left leg.

Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn’t stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

Chuck Norris puts the laughter in Manslaughter!