Laughter is the best medicine?
I'm home sick today..someone help me out?
How The Fight Started
1: When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her
someplace expensive.....so, I took her to a gas station..... and that's how the fight started....
2: I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for
$14.95. Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95. I told her the beer would make her look better at night than the cold cream. .....And that's how the fight started.
3: After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for
Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later. The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'. So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application. When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office.
She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability, too'......And that's how the fight started.....
4: My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and
I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a
nearby table. My wife asked, 'Do you know her?' 'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's
my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split
up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.' 'My God!'
says my wife, 'Who would think a person could go on celebrating that
long?'.....And that's how the fight started
5: I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road
and slowly the other driver got out of his car. You know how sometimes you
just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny? Yeah, well I
couldn't believe it.... he was a DWARF!!! He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, 'I AM NOT HAPPY!!!' So, I looked down at him and said, Well, then which one are you?'.....And that's how the fight started
6: I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my
order first. 'I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please.' He said,
'Aren't you worried about the mad cow?' 'Nah, she can order for
herself.'
And that's how the fight started.....
1: When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her
someplace expensive.....so, I took her to a gas station..... and that's how the fight started....
2: I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for
$14.95. Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95. I told her the beer would make her look better at night than the cold cream. .....And that's how the fight started.
3: After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for
Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later. The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'. So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application. When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office.
She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability, too'......And that's how the fight started.....
4: My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and
I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a
nearby table. My wife asked, 'Do you know her?' 'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's
my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split
up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.' 'My God!'
says my wife, 'Who would think a person could go on celebrating that
long?'.....And that's how the fight started
5: I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road
and slowly the other driver got out of his car. You know how sometimes you
just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny? Yeah, well I
couldn't believe it.... he was a DWARF!!! He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, 'I AM NOT HAPPY!!!' So, I looked down at him and said, Well, then which one are you?'.....And that's how the fight started
6: I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my
order first. 'I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please.' He said,
'Aren't you worried about the mad cow?' 'Nah, she can order for
herself.'
And that's how the fight started.....
Laughter is the best medicine and gift you can give to someone else. Sometimes even remembering a good joke can make you laugh at the most random time. Just dont be surprise if people stare at you with awkwardness. And dont bother explaining the joke to them, it will only confuse them even more.
A duck goes into a hardware store and asks the clerk " Do you have any grapes? " The clerk says no and the duck leaves. The next day the duck comes back into the store and asks the clerk " Do you have any grapes? " The clerk says no and the duck leaves. The next day the duck comes back and the clerk says to him " We don't have any grapes? I swear, if you come back and ask that again, I'll nail your webbed feet to the floor! " The duck leaves. The duck comes back the next day and asks the clerk " Do you have any nails? " The clerk says no. The duck says " Great! Do you have any grapes? "
Hope this helped. (:
Hope this helped. (:
A joke might might make u laugh :p
Tech support- I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop.
Customer's- Ok!
Tech Support- Did you get a pop-up menu?
Customer- No
Tech Support- ok, right click again.Do you see a pop-up menu?
Customer- No
Tech Support- Ok sir, can you tell me what you have done up until this point?
Customer-Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I wrote click.
LONG LIVE& LOVE LIFE !!!
Tech support- I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop.
Customer's- Ok!
Tech Support- Did you get a pop-up menu?
Customer- No
Tech Support- ok, right click again.Do you see a pop-up menu?
Customer- No
Tech Support- Ok sir, can you tell me what you have done up until this point?
Customer-Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I wrote click.
LONG LIVE& LOVE LIFE !!!
What exactly are you looking for in help. Find a good book to read.... the Bible is a great one for those who are sick. Do some writing of poetry or a short story. Watch a good movie on the TV. Take a nice relaxing bath in bubble bath or bath oil scents. Go to Pogo.com and play some of their online games for free. You can be a free member and play all you want. You don't have to sit and feel gloomy. That helps your sickness stay longer. Keep positive. Write your new years to do list. Take a long Polar Bear nap. Lots of ideas.
Here are some Yo Mama Jokes ;D
Your Momma's so fat, when she blinks, her eyelids clap!
Yo momma's so fat, when she sits around the house, she really sits AROUND the house.
Not too funny i guess :)
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jRbkkqZik… <---- that makes ANYONE laugh :D
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lich59xsj… <--- its hilarious to me (:
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h05ZQ7WHw… <---the WTF blanket (parody of snuggie) it's funny XDD so true too.
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o2oVTs5pI… <---- Lmfao. Parody of party in the USA.
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kC3m9k6eZ… <----Whatever You like, TI spoof. XD Obama spoof.
Your Momma's so fat, when she blinks, her eyelids clap!
Yo momma's so fat, when she sits around the house, she really sits AROUND the house.
Not too funny i guess :)
--------------------------------------…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jRbkkqZik… <---- that makes ANYONE laugh :D
--------------------------------------…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lich59xsj… <--- its hilarious to me (:
--------------------------------------…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h05ZQ7WHw… <---the WTF blanket (parody of snuggie) it's funny XDD so true too.
--------------------------------------…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o2oVTs5pI… <---- Lmfao. Parody of party in the USA.
--------------------------------------…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kC3m9k6eZ… <----Whatever You like, TI spoof. XD Obama spoof.
there was 2 guys walking in the woods they hunkered down behind a log to take a crap a bear came barreling down between them the one guy looked at the other one and said did that scare ya buddy? he said no the guy said why ya wiping my a** then :D
hope that maade ya smile feel better :)
hope that maade ya smile feel better :)
Yeah, well people with smallpox didn't get healed by laughter. In fact, if they laughed, they basically killed 90 babies.
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uhhhhhh...
watch this:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MXtTudVuWTg&feature=PlayList&p=0B5F1BD19223DE8E&index=0&playnext=1
watch this:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MXtTudVuWTg&feature=PlayList&p=0B5F1BD19223DE8E&index=0&playnext=1
Chuck Norris' pee can unclog the toilet.
Chuck Norris keeps a flashlight when he sleeps because the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.
:P:P:P:P
Chuck Norris keeps a flashlight when he sleeps because the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.
:P:P:P:P
A mushroom walks into a bar.
Bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve your kind."
The mushroom says, "Why not? I'm a fungi."
Bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve your kind."
The mushroom says, "Why not? I'm a fungi."
Call me ill make you laugh
or add me on myspace
www.myspace.com/tonygonzalez77
:)
or add me on myspace
www.myspace.com/tonygonzalez77
:)
go watch the chappelle show or something
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?…
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?…
YES ALONG WITH JESUS AND GOOD MOVIES AND MAYBE A DOG! A WARM SMILE FROM SOMEONE ELSE ...................BY THE WAY IS THAT A ORANGE SHIRT? OR A JAIL HOUSE UNIFORM? IT LOOKS LIKE A UNIFORM ! LOL
two muffins are sitting in a oven. one muffin says wow its hot in here. the other says holy **** a talking muffin!
Yes laughter is a medicine.
put on a funny movie, like national lampoons christmas vacation
Two rubbers ( not shoe covers ) walking by a gay bar. One says to the other " hey wanna go in and get ****faced " Haha.I'll comfort you if I only knew where you are. Oh well get better..
want me to call you a whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa bulence (: no im kidding that sometimes cracks people up
Just check out my profile pic, that should make you laugh right through the new year.
i will be over in 10 minutes i will help you
i think it's the relief it brings.
i had a cold/flu for 6 days in november, when it was spring!
i had a cold/flu for 6 days in november, when it was spring!
not really sorry
Sucks to be sick!
Its trueeee. Aww I hope you feel better!
chicken soup coming your way
i agree!